Are You in a Toxic Relationship, How to Tell and Mend My Broken Heart

So many of us are in toxic relationships where we feel as though our hearts are being ripped out of our chests yet we do nothing to change it. You need to take a serious look at your partner and consider how the two of you are together and are you with the right person, in order to heal your broken heart. Are you just settling because you feel there is no one out there better suited for you or are you just scared of being alone?

We are inclined not to have faith in our own instincts or feelings the majority of the time. To make ourselves cheer up about our decisions, we validate them through our actions. Deep down we know that the way we are being treated is wrong but we remain in the relationship. My friend,Renee, was all too familiar with this. She was in a relationship with Josh for 2 years. At first Josh treated her like gold, taking her to the nicest restaurants, buying her things, calling her all the time. They talked about what they wanted in a relationship and she was thrilled that he wanted marriage eventually too.

Renee was very happy with Josh and they would spend every weekend together at his house hanging out with his kids and his friends. She stopped spending time with her friends because his life became her life. She did it all, cooked for his family, entertained his friends, cleaned his house to name just a few. She wanted to be the perfect girlfriend and hopefully, one day, a perfect wife.

Then things began to simmer down six months into the relationship as he wasn’t calling as much and he would make up excuses not to see her. Insecure was how she was feeling about his lack of attention. As such, she became fearful that he was seeing someone else and began calling him to ascertain as to his whereabouts. Josh began to pull away from her the more apprehensive Renee became.

It appeared that Josh did not valued the things she did for him anymore. Whenever she needed help he was never there and he would pull away when she touched him. He would flirt with other women and absolutely pay no attention to her when people were over. “I'm not good at this relationship stuff, but I'll try to be better" or "We're only friends, you knew I had a lot of girl friends when we got together" are the things he would tell her when she wept every night about their relationship and the other women. He appeared to be surprised that she still came when she turned up on Friday night. When she went home on Sunday night, she would be feeling depressed and wanting things the way they used to be.

Was Renee with the right person? Josh, her soul mate, should she believe that? Should Renee have continue transforming herself into something she wasn’t or should she have put a stop to the relationship?

When in doubt, try this easy exercise to see whether or not you are in a toxic relationship:

Place yourself out of the equation and put one of your friends/co-workers in it instead. This should help take your emotions out of it so you can look at the situation more objectively. How could you be of assistance to these people if they came to you requesting help? When you are not involved, it is much easier to give guidance.

Whatever recommendations you would offer, can you follow it? Given that it is coming from your own instincts and it is the finest guidance you’ll get, you should. So instead of justifying your actions, learn to trust your feelings or intuitions and it will be much easier to heal your broken heart.