Heal Your Broken Heart - Save Your Marriage for the Kids?

In the best interest of the children, lots of couples stay together. Is it really better for the kids to see you sacrifice your happiness for them? Or to be with someone that makes you blissful is it more important for them to witness? So your children can continue to have a family, can you save your marriage and heal your broken heart?

I always believed that you should be happy in your relationship and that it was important for your kids to see a loving healthy couple. Due to my parents constant fighting, is why I felt this way. With a fondness for liquor and old fashion views, my dad was a pretty conventional kind of guy. Even though my Mom was a bit more liberal, which could have been a due to her education, she was still expected to clean the house, cook dinner, drive us kids around as well as work a full-time job.

Somehow my Mom managed to run a household and hold a full time job no matter how difficult it was. Furthermore, my parents never appeared to get along whenever my Father was home as such their marriage looked like it was a continuous battle. I in no way could understand why they never went their separate ways.

My belief of relationships that that the woman should be more giving and not to expect a lot in return was formed by watching parents. I thought that all relationships were difficult and you should never expect to be happy, that whole Cinderella relationship was just a fairy tale.

My sisters and I thought a “normal” relationship was what my parents had, so this is the kind of relationship we looked for as we got older. So is it better to stay together for the kids or would my sisters and I be in happier relationships if our parents had split up?

“Why did you stay with him all those years?” is what I bluntly asked my Mom a few years ago when she was complaining about my dad. Her response was “I didn't want to worry about finding babysitters and to move you and your sisters into a 1 bedroom apartment. Living in a respectable community, in a nice house, is where I felt you were better off.” I didn't understand, I really felt we would have been better off if they had separated.

However as of late I think I may have revised my thoughts on this matter as one of my friends is a single mom. She struggles with getting her kids school and to work on time on a daily basis. Subsequently having someone there to pick her kids up after school something she need to ensure. Money is always an issue and she can't afford to put her kids in extra activities. When one of her son's coaches came up to her and told her she should put her boy in special hockey school because he had a real talent, it broke her heart. But the school was way too expensive and she couldn't afford it. Is it fair that her son has to feel the consequences of this. If she could have saved her marriage maybe her son could have gone.

By getting a divorce and not working things out, I did not think or realize all of the opportunities that a child can lose out on. Although there is no easy answer to this very common question, most child psychologists recommend trying to fix the marriage unless there is physical abuse involved. First and foremost is the safety of the kids. If the parents are doing lots of squabbling, it is recommended that they do it apart from the children. Also, the parents should try working with a marriage counselor if they find it difficult working through their differences on their own.

Your kids should grow to have strong and healthy relationships if you can save your marriage and heal your broken heart.