How Can I Mend My Broken Heart When I Still Love My Ex?

It's reasonable to think “I'm still in love with my ex” especially if the breakup is still fresh in your head. You are still clinging to some hope that you will get back together which doesn't mean that the break up had to be recent. You can't help but think “How can I get them back and mend my broken heart?”

It’s natural to yearn for what you use to have and to feel lonesome with the holidays coming up, so be careful what you wish for. The best thing for you might not be getting back together with your ex so before you continue you really need to think it through.

First of all you should think about why you broke up. Doesn't matter what the problems maybe, can you single-handedly mend it? The things that only you can do may be the only things that can be changed if your ex is not on board with trying to make it work.

Your relationship would not have ended if there wasn’t something wrong and you don’t need the same relationship again. Something that is not tempting to your ex is repeating the same old cycle in your relationship so instead you need to include something innovative to it.

For instance, you need to reflect on the relationship and the things that were wrong and what you were always fighting about. Who started the fights, you or him? I didn’t allow him the opportunity to figure things out himself which what I discovered after my breakup and I was way too motherly as I always tried to fix everything. Making him feel like a child and inferior, is what this did. Or allowing her anger and resentment out on her husband, my friend Serena drove him away, are you like that?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing; it allows us to look at the past much more objectively and without emotion. Write down the things you think went wrong and now try and change them. If angry was an issue for you, before attempting to talk to your ex, you need to try and let it go. You need to learn to listen and just be there for him instead of being like me and always trying to fix things. Let him come up with some ideas, it will boost his ego if he can take care of it himself.

By making an sincere effort to change once you have figured out what you must to do, only then can you begin to restore a friendship with your ex. Take things slow and test the waters a little bit. You may scare him off forever if you push too hard. Keep it ever so casual by trying to merely hang out or inviting him out with friends but only if he appears to be responding to your efforts. Let him see that you have changed, don't point it out to him, if it was a real sore spot in your relationship then he will definitely notice.

It is ok if things are going slow as the relationship needs to take its course. Some things heal quicker than others. He needs to see that you have changed for the long haul and that it is not just temporary. Hopefully by the holidays instead of thinking, "I'm still in love with my ex, how can I mend my broken heart?" you will be thinking about what the New Year will bring for the two of you.