The 3 Killers Of Your Personal Self-Worth Number One

This is the first of 3 chapters in the "Three Pillars of Self-Esteem" series.

The first of the 3 pillars of self-worth is the facility to let go of fear, guilt, and worry. As indicated in a Psychology Today article on the negative affect of guilt in common ways to improving self-esteem, since guilt is closely identified with the concept of "fault" or "blame," it involves adopting a viewpoint and thought process that many find hard to grasp because the undeniable fact that we actually can rid ourselves of those burdens is not unvaryingly clear to us.

Let's be honest here. Targeting energy on only the positive sides of life is very troublesome when you're involved in your own muck of misgivings with a distorted view of yourself.

In reality, nothing prevents you from living each moment of each day without the unrelenting burdensome bulk of fear, guilt, and worry trampling your spirit. It's not impossible, neither is it very hard with the right attitude.

At last we all want to try to let go of things that haunt our past, start to enjoy the present, and plan for a brighter future. With the proper level of introspection, you can discover how to remove those mental blocks that keep you entangled in the grip of painful memories and weakening negativeness.

Sadly, most people are not be well placed to harness those inner resources and find out how to identify the most notable difference between things that they can change and those they can't and nicely accept that fact, letting them live a more joy filled, fearless life.

Here are a few unusually easy tactics to help cut back the feelings of guilt, fear and worry.

1. Identify those past things around which you're feeling guilty. Take action about those things that you can change and identify the growth lesson in those that you can't and allow them to go.

2. Eliminate the phrases "If only I," "I should have," for example from your vocabulary. These are statements of regret that perpetuate the feelings of guilt. If you have learned what you require to know so you won't have to deal with a repeat performance and you cannot do anything to switch the situation, then you have satisfied your obligation.

3. Straight away shut down anyone who is attempting to make you feel guilty. Often the feelings of guilt are ignited by those closest to us ( siblings, peers mothers and fathers, spouses, etc . ). If you find yourself in the crosshairs of somebody's "guilt-gun" simply say these words to them "You're not trying to make me feel guilty are you?" Usually which will stop the aggressor in their tracks. If they continue, simply repeat the phrase as many times as needed. This refocuses the conversation on their behavior and off the topic for which they were making an attempt to direct blame.

4. Target your attention on the here and now. Fear and worry are all rooted in the future. As humans we have a tendency to look first for those possible events in the future that may be harmful to us to the exclusion of all the other possible paths. The secret's to identify and accentuate the other possible paths as viable alternative outcomes to those which we fear.

You, and only you, can make this major change in your life. On occasion, you just could need to find some help finding those resources within you. Once you do, you will never be the same.

If you need further help with this issue, I suggest that you have a look at the "Dissolve Fear, Guilt & Worry" program found at our how to improve self-esteem resource.