We can find happiness right in our own home, our workplace, in school, in the company of our friends, etc. It is up to us to find the ways and means to achieve that happiness each of us seek and long for. However, it is essential to recognize that there is no one absolute way to find the key to happiness. People have different ideas about the ways of achieving happiness.

The following classifications are perceived by many people as sources of happiness:

(1) Family and friends
(2) Wealth
(3) Position/Rank
(4) Educational Achievement
(5) Fame (i.e. politics, arts, sports)

(1) HAPPINESS IN FAMILY AND FRIENDS

The very first place where happiness dwells is right in our own homes. We find happiness just by being with our family – our parents, spouse, children and grandchildren. In fact, they are our source of strength and inspiration. Having a harmonious home life gives us happiness – one that we truly cherish and treasure.

True friends are also a source of happiness. The support we get from them goes a long way in helping us to get by in times of troubles. Somehow, friends make our life complete.

2) HAPPINESS IN WEALTH

A lot of people associate wealth with happiness. Almost everywhere in the world, people are preoccupied in the acquisition of wealth. They look upon wealth as the secret to happiness. To some, wealth and happiness are synonymous.

Not that we should despise the rich and the famous or discourage others from aspiring to be so. There is nothing wrong with dreaming of becoming rich just as long as we acknowledge that wealth has limitations. Furthermore, our priorities must be clear from the very start. Clearly, we must know what should rank first in order of priorities lest we spend our days in this world meaninglessly and without hope. The pursuit of material riches should not be our top priority. How many times have we heard of people with millions of money but are willing to give it away just to have peace of mind? They live in a state of fear, that is, fear of losing their wealth through robbery or theft. They also fear for their life and the lives of those they love. These fears may even lead to sleepless nights, stress, tension, mental anguish, heart attack and death.

Understanding and accepting that happiness has nothing to do with the accumulation of wealth is perhaps the most liberating realization we can ever come to.

3) HAPPINESS IN RANK AND POSITION

Can real happiness be achieved through the attainment of high rank or position in society?

To many, the answer is “yes.” For most people, having a high-ranking position is synonymous to power. Such persons would have the power to rule and lead. If they become “good leaders,” they would be able to lead based on sound moral values and good work ethics. In return, they would earn their people’s trust, obedience, support, loyalty and cooperation. Eventually, they would find happiness and satisfaction doing their job.

However, any person who is entrusted with authority and abuses it would definitely be responsible for misuse of power. His position would only be a source of misery, as he will be confronted with issues such as corruption and problems like loss of public trust, public revolt, coups d’etat, etc.

History can speak for itself. How many unwanted rulers, kings, emperors, and presidents have been overthrown? A good example is former Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos, who ruled the country for 20 long years, but his reign came to an unfortunate end. He was “thrown” out of his own country by his own people and spent years thereafter in exile.

4) EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS

Can earning the highest level of education such as doctorate degrees give happiness? For people who derive happiness from learning, knowledge is power. Some successful people have attained high levels of education.

However, we hear about professional people who are successful in their own fields and yet feel miserable and depressed because they feel that something is missing in their life. We hear of doctors being sued for malpractice and negligence, of judges committing suicide, and of many other sad stories that are hard to believe but are actually happening to professional people. Does education really guarantee happiness?

5) HAPPINESS IN FAME

Fame is also associated with happiness. In sports and various careers, it is translated to victory, winning, and attaining the status of a celebrity. Are famous men and women happy?

Let’s take the case of sportsmen. They practically devote their whole lifetime practicing to be the best at their chosen sport. However, sports can sometimes be so stressful, especially when they are carried to the extreme. Imagine the kind of pressure sportsmen have to go through to win over a game. To cope with high expectations, they take prohibited drugs to have the stamina and endurance required in their chosen field!

Consider the despair, embarrassment, shame, and ridicule that they have to endure whenever they lose a game! So, let us ask ourselves – can a life exposed to such pressures and humiliation be a truly happy life?

For many, the future is bleak. The continuing escalation of prices, natural and man-made calamities, terrorism, local and global strife, family problems, poverty, criminality, famines and other crises do bring desperation and hopelessness.

Can we still find happiness in such a depressing situation? Yes, it is still possible to find happiness in such dire predicaments! What happens around us is largely beyond our control, but the way we choose to react is within our control. In short, even in the midst of difficulties in life, we can still make happiness happen; that is, if we want and choose to make it happen. True enough, life is what we make it! Isn’t this a wonderful discovery?

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Pause for a moment. What were you thinking about a minute ago? How did that thought make you feel?

It is very important that we realize the relationship between our thoughts and the way we feel. Did you know that we are constantly thinking? Take breathing for example. Unless we feel that we are running out of breath, we simply forget that we breathe automatically.

Thinking works the same way. Since we are always doing it, it is easy to forget that it is happening. To think is to create. Everything starts in the mind. What precedes the feeling of anger? Angry thoughts precede anger. Have you tried getting angry when you don't have any anger thoughts? Try feeling sad without sad thoughts. It is impossible! To experience a feeling, we must first have the thought that induces that feeling. Happiness cannot exist alone. It is the result of positive thinking. This simple awareness is the first step in putting us back on the path to find the key to happiness.

We should never underestimate the power of a simple thought. It may seem so innocent and fleeting; yet, it has energy that can cause great impact on our mind, body, and emotions.

Let us think of a lemon. Imagine cutting it in half and smelling it. Now, think about squeezing the juice from the lemon into your mouth and feel those bits of pulp bursting inside. Most of us will surely feel our salivary glands responding to the thought of lemon.

Indeed, what we are thinking can greatly influence our emotions. Think of someone you love. What do you feel? Now think of someone you hate. What do you feel? We do not have to change our emotions consciously – just change our thoughts and our emotions will immediately follow. Notice that when we focus our minds on positive things, we feel better, whereas when think negative thoughts, we feel bad. Positive thoughts yield positive results. These thoughts make us more loving and caring, resulting to good health, wealth, and happiness. On the other hand, negative thoughts produce negative results. These types of thoughts result to indifference, disease, fear and misery, etc. In other words, our thoughts create our reality. So be aware of your thoughts. The next time you feel a little low, stop and consider what you were thinking to trigger that feeling and change the direction of your thoughts accordingly. It’s not going to happen immediately but with practice, we can control the direction our thoughts take.

Wouldn’t it be great if we can have good thoughts throughout the day?

However, that is just not possible, is it? The negative thoughts have a way of slipping in unnoticed throughout the day. Like cancer, negative thinking can kill! It can destroy and kill our whole future. Negative thoughts affect the mind, body, and emotions.

Our thoughts produce our feelings. We get angry by having angry thoughts. It is impossible to feel sad without sad thoughts. Unhappiness does not and cannot exist on its own. Unhappiness come with negative thinking. So how do we get rid of negative thoughts? Stop thinking about them! Our negative feelings are results of our own negative thinking. Apart from refraining to think about negative thoughts, we can turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

One effective technique is to learn a whole new set of happy words. These words evoke positive feelings. Other studies refer to these as “Positive Adjectives List” from The Apache Method (The Antidotal Positive Adjectives Character and Happiness Enhancement Method).

According to this particular study, which is based on Emmet Velton's classic paper, “There has been a body of research empirically validating our ability to positively or negatively change our moods by reading phrases like “I feel very good” or “I am afraid.”

So, how do we go about dislodging thoughts of unhappiness?

1. Be aware. We have to catch ourselves when we are about to indulge in negative thinking. In the first few days, we have to be very vigilant.

2. The moment we feel the onset of an unpleasant emotion, we have to identify it as precisely as possible. Is it hatred? Hurt? Fear? Anxiety? Discontent? This is a very critical component of the process as related to the next step.

3. Search for the exact opposite of the negative emotion. Think of its antonym. For example, the moment we catch ourselves feeling “lazy,” we would call to mind an opposite adjective like 'energetic.' We would then say to ourselves, 'I feel energetic. ' If we see ourselves as “pessimistic”, we say “I am hopeful. ” If we think we are “incompetent’, we say “I feel ingenious.” What do we say if we see ourselves as “unmindful”? We say, “I am grateful. ”

Can we use the same strategy even if we do not feel any unpleasant feelings? Of course! We are encouraged to think and say to ourselves statements like 'I feel fabulous' to reinforce our mood, or statements like 'I feel strong' or 'I feel friendly' in order to enhance our character. Other people have their own versions of this same method. Others say it aloud in front of the mirror every morning for ten minutes for twenty-one days. Saying it out loud makes it more effective as it means an emotional involvement. This is the same as expressing positive affirmations and doing self-talk. Others think it's more effective to write the statements on paper, as they become more involved “physically”.

Try it out. It doesn’t matter which way you choose to use. What’s important is that you are aware of the direction your thoughts are going and change it. You’ll see a brighter, more positive you emerge and well on your way to finding the way to happiness.

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