I think many women have false hope that plastic surgery could save their marriage. But who are the women having the plastic surgery completed for, themselves or to hold on to their man? You could however find yourself struggling to mend your broken heart, no matter what your intentions are.

The first one of my friends to get plastic surgery was Cori. Her marriage of 16 years had always been pretty rocky, in fact early that year they had done a trial separation. They decided to give their marriage another chance as the kids were starting to misbehave at home and school. Since both of them had had affairs there was a lot to work through. Cori was constantly comparing herself to the woman her husband had been with and her husband, Will, was over compensating to try and bring the spice back into their relationship.

They both came to the conclusion as they were trying to work through their problems that plastic surgery would help. Cori wanted to feel better about her body and her husband hoped with her new confidence that their relationship would get that spice back. Since the one thing that Cori wasn't happy with on her body was her breasts, they decided that she would get breast implants.

She told me that after the surgery she literally had to fight her husband off and she loved it! She claimed that it was the best decision they had ever made and she was quite sure that it saved their marriage.

Truth be told, some men are terrified of their women getting any type of plastic surgery done. There is this man from Alberta who’s wife wants breast implants, liposuction and a tummy tuck even though he says he loves her exactly as she is. She wants to have the body she had before they had children, he explains but he is terrified that she'll run off and have an affair because of her new body. Are his fears warranted?

Most women get plastic surgery to make them feel better about themselves. If their current relationship is dysfunctional then the surgery may give them the self-esteem to finally leave. Still, any type of surgery should not have any harmful effects if the relationship is sound.

Another woman confessed to me that her husband asked her if she would ever consider having breast implants. After having two kids, her breasts weren’t as bouncy but she thought he still loved her C cups. She immediately began to feel self-conscious about them and decided to get surgery done to please him because she thought that is what he wanted. While his comment had been quite innocent it planted a seed into her head.

The surgery made her feel miserable because she thought she looked like a clown due to her lean body looking like a stick with two giant balloons on it. While her husband told her she looked gorgeous, she became more and more insecure. Ultimately, she decided to have the surgery reversed and a breast lift done in its place and it was all done with her husband’s total support. She feels like herself again for the first time in a long time and her husband is just glad to have her back.

If a relationship is already having problems, has a history of problems, or if you are getting the surgery to please someone else, most research states that plastic surgery often does not help. The underlying problems are still there and the surgery is only a temporary solution. Before considering surgery, those problems need to be dealt with before or the relationship won’t survive anyway.

This is just what Cori experienced. Her breast surgery was just six months ago and her marriage was experiencing problems once more. The same old problems and patterns began to surface and they were back where they had started – separated despite the fact her new body and confidence had been a great distraction for the last six months. Even though she is heart broken that they couldn't work it out she claims she doesn't regret her surgery because she did it for herself as well as her husband. She is certain that her heart will mend as she says she feels much better about herself.

When it is not used to act as a "answer" to save your marriage, plastic surgery done for the appropriate intentions can have many positive affects. After all it's quite normal to want to have your body back after having children, or change something you've always wanted to change, or just to fight aging. In any case, you must not be doing it to please someone but instead you need to be doing it in that you want it. So if you are trying to save your marriage with plastic surgery you may instead find yourself trying to mend your broken heart.

In the best interest of the children, lots of couples stay together. Is it really better for the kids to see you sacrifice your happiness for them? Or to be with someone that makes you blissful is it more important for them to witness? So your children can continue to have a family, can you save your marriage and heal your broken heart?

I always believed that you should be happy in your relationship and that it was important for your kids to see a loving healthy couple. Due to my parents constant fighting, is why I felt this way. With a fondness for liquor and old fashion views, my dad was a pretty conventional kind of guy. Even though my Mom was a bit more liberal, which could have been a due to her education, she was still expected to clean the house, cook dinner, drive us kids around as well as work a full-time job.

Somehow my Mom managed to run a household and hold a full time job no matter how difficult it was. Furthermore, my parents never appeared to get along whenever my Father was home as such their marriage looked like it was a continuous battle. I in no way could understand why they never went their separate ways.

My belief of relationships that that the woman should be more giving and not to expect a lot in return was formed by watching parents. I thought that all relationships were difficult and you should never expect to be happy, that whole Cinderella relationship was just a fairy tale.

My sisters and I thought a “normal” relationship was what my parents had, so this is the kind of relationship we looked for as we got older. So is it better to stay together for the kids or would my sisters and I be in happier relationships if our parents had split up?

“Why did you stay with him all those years?” is what I bluntly asked my Mom a few years ago when she was complaining about my dad. Her response was “I didn't want to worry about finding babysitters and to move you and your sisters into a 1 bedroom apartment. Living in a respectable community, in a nice house, is where I felt you were better off.” I didn't understand, I really felt we would have been better off if they had separated.

However as of late I think I may have revised my thoughts on this matter as one of my friends is a single mom. She struggles with getting her kids school and to work on time on a daily basis. Subsequently having someone there to pick her kids up after school something she need to ensure. Money is always an issue and she can't afford to put her kids in extra activities. When one of her son's coaches came up to her and told her she should put her boy in special hockey school because he had a real talent, it broke her heart. But the school was way too expensive and she couldn't afford it. Is it fair that her son has to feel the consequences of this. If she could have saved her marriage maybe her son could have gone.

By getting a divorce and not working things out, I did not think or realize all of the opportunities that a child can lose out on. Although there is no easy answer to this very common question, most child psychologists recommend trying to fix the marriage unless there is physical abuse involved. First and foremost is the safety of the kids. If the parents are doing lots of squabbling, it is recommended that they do it apart from the children. Also, the parents should try working with a marriage counselor if they find it difficult working through their differences on their own.

Your kids should grow to have strong and healthy relationships if you can save your marriage and heal your broken heart.

Have you ever had that strange yet sick feeling that you are about to be dumped by your boyfriend? Unexpectedly you are getting this impression that he just doesn’t want to be near you nor is he being very caring or loving. Can you fix your relationship before you have to mend your broken heart? Think about what you can do to change if you do any of the things below.

1. Are you overly clingy?
Do you find yourself clutching your man every time you are with him? While he is not with you are you continually calling or texting him? Do you bellyache every time he goes out with his friends?

You will be slowly driving him away if you do any of these and continue to do so. In the beginning of the relationship, he will be calling and seeing you often as he can. As the honeymoon stage is not eternal, his calls and visits will become shorter and fewer and far between. At this point the majority of women start to freak out, but it's truly ok, he's just getting comfortable and he still genuinely likes you. Instead of calling him all the time, you'd make more of a statement if you played a little hard to get.

2. All is revealed to your friends!
You are going to become more at ease as you and your partner become closer. Things you have not shared with others, may be revealed to each other. You also may do silly things to make each other laugh. These things are personal and should stay between to the two of you and not be shared with your friends! If you told your gal pals that he cries or that he tried on your g-string to make you laugh, can you even fathom how he would feel? Put yourself in his position - you wouldn't want him to share your secrets with his friends, would you? By losing his trust, you will ultimately lose him.

3. You are a very high maintenance type girl!
Are you in constant need of encouragement on how your relationship is doing? Are you continually scrutinizing every circumstance that comes up between the two of you? Are you always questioning him on how you look? Are you always fishing for compliments?

If you want to drive him crazy then continue doing this but your relationship won't last long! It's ok to ask him if you look good before you go out but don’t over analyze his answer and make it in to a huge discussion on your relationship. You need to pick an suitable time to discuss your relationship if you are in need of it and in the middle of dinner with his friends present is not one of those times. I had a friend do that once and it made everyone uncomfortable!

He will begin to feel like he can’t do anything correctly as you find errors with everything he does all because you make him believe that nothing satisfies you. You will be shopping for a new partner instead of a new dress so if you want to stay with your man you need to relax.

Are you the one pushing him away thus you are feeling like your man is slipping away which now requires you to take a look at what you are doing to feel this way. If you make an effort to change, you might be able to save your relationship instead of having to mend your broken heart.

All you are feeling is pain and anger because it was just revealed to you that he cheated on you. Can you learn to trust again and heal your broken heart?

We begin to look at the world differently when someone dear to us betrays us. We trusted them but they broke that trust, so where do we go from here? Do we dump them or forgive them?

Our self esteem will take a enormous hit due to his cheating and drives us insane trying to figure out why he did it, were we not beautiful enough? Good enough? What were we not providing in the relationship that caused him to go elsewhere for it? You have to investigate what went wrong in the relationship and scrutinize his affair, even if you can’t forgive him.

One-night stand or an affair, which was it? A number of things could be interpreted from a full blown affair, which indicates it may not be all his fault. How have the two of you been getting along lately? Are you arguing all the time or still having fun? Has your relationship been stuck in a rut lately?

What enticed him into a one-night stand? How well did he know the other girl or had he just bumped into her? Once more, you’ll have to re-examine your relationship and ask yourself if this could happen again?

The lines of communications need to be opened up with him no matter how mad you are at him! Is the relationship worth fixing or not, is something you need to find out. Be very direct with him and ask him to be truthful and why he did. Is he apologetic? Does he want the relationship to succeed? What is he looking for in the relationship and is he getting it, are things you need to know no matter how deeply it hurts. If they are things you think you can provide then you may want to give it another try.

You know it is time to move on when the things he tells you he needs you either just don’t think you can do or isn’t you. You are not the right one for him and he is not the right one for you. If you pretend to be someone you are not, he may end up cheating again.

It will take awhile to build that faith back up and then you will be able to pardon him, that is if you choose to stay with him. You will not be doing yourself or him any favors if you tell him that you have forgiven him and then toss it back in his face every time you think something is amiss. If you are having trouble trusting him again then you may want to try counseling, it's a difficult thing to learn to do again.

You may have trouble trusting other guys even though you have elected to let him go. The new boyfriends deserve your honesty as you do not want to make them pay for your ex’s mistakes as this will only drive them away.

So it doesn’t happen again, you need to learn from this situation or hopefully you will see the signs before it happens. Healing your broken heart after his cheating is not an easy task, but you have to do what is right for you. Trust yourself even if you don't trust him.