The human ego is really a fragile thing. As kids, we cultivate beliefs and values that researchers tell us might well dictate our destiny to our final day on Planet Earth. To that conclusion, the generation of a healthy ego, which includes how to improve self-esteem, is very important in the optimal functioning of our personality as well as a healthy outlook on life and the world around us.
Solid self worth is an integral component of personal happiness and fulfilling relationships. It is really what we value, love, accept and appreciate about ourselves and is echoed in the way we have interaction with other people and how we tackle the difficulties of existence.
So, How Crucial Is Positive Self-Esteem?
As reported in a recent news story at ABC News, high self-esteem is in fact a powerful and precise forecaster of overall success, stable interpersonal associations and appropriately high motivation. High self-worth and self-confidence are key forecasters of happiness and all round well-being.
Nevertheless, diminished self-esteem can predict a lack of prosperity, out and out hostility, crime, adolescent pregnancy, numerous forms of emotional illness, hopelessness and even more.
What Is The Source of Low Self-Esteem?
An exhaustive examination of self-esteem will show it to be a highly complex subject influenced by many aspects but simply put, reduced self-esteem is driven by our unconstructive inner-most thoughts. The exact quality of our individual thoughts, beliefs and emotions are eventually reflected as a part of our conduct.
Therefore if you have low self-image, it is exactly how you will conduct yourself, and hence shape your own perceived value and also eventually influence the perception of other people around you.
The Three Killers of Self-Esteem
You can find literally thousands of books and personal advancement programs that are intended to show you how to improve self-esteem. Some are very beneficial and others, well, not so much. But, over the years I have observed that even the best-meaning, most intelligent authors have a tendency to miss what I refer to as the 3 “killers” of self-esteem.
I realize the word “killers” is in fact a relatively harsh term but when it comes to the life-blood of one’s personality, these three elements can do much more to destroy your level of self-worth than virtually anything else. Here’s an overview.
Killer #1: Living With Fear, Guilt and Worry
There is certainly almost nothing more dangerous to an otherwise healthy self-concept than living with dread of your future, guilt about the past and worry about the present. These 3 emotional vampires will through time, drain you of one’s energy, your happiness and your soul. If you are burdened with these difficulties you may have already discovered that they all share a common origin. They’re all a result of perception.
Although getting out from beneath the burden of fear, guilt and worry may well seem to generally be impossible, when you begin to determine their trigger as basically errors in perception, you then are able to take control of their demise. I’ll talk much more about this in a future article.
Killer #2: Becoming Disconnected From Your “Authentic” Self
Your authentic self is the “real” you—the core essence of your respective personality and relevance. As we expand and evolve from children, by way of mostly external factors (parents, peers, media, etc.), we lose touch with that essence and start to mold our identities to societal models rather than rely on our inner knowing to tell us who we are. Like a leaf blowing in the wind, we’ll follow an ever-changing course, never developing a stable experience of self-identity.
The capability to bond with your authentic self is powerful and is a basic requirement of stable self-worth.
Killer #3: Lacking the Power of Love
The inability to simply accept and love yourself for who you are is essential to a healthy and highly effective self-esteem. As in the instance above, when you have completely connected with “who you are,” you have to learn how to accept and love that uniquely special creation that you are. The inability to love yourself is also mirrored in the inability to simply accept other people for who they are; a primary factor of strong supportive relationships.
In conclusion, the missing keys to developing unshakable self-worth as well as a highly effective experience of identity are to shed the burden of fear, guilt and worry, reconnect with your own authenticity and finally, accept and love yourself just the way you are.
The way to accomplish this is generally simple but not usually easy because, as I explained previously, to alter your level of self-worth you have to first and foremost raise the quality of your thoughts. By focusing on removing these three killers of one’s self esteem you are able to radically change your thinking and also the way you progress through life. I’ll be going over each of these in additional detail in the up coming installments within this series.
The great thing is that now it is possible to short-cut your ability to eradicate these three killers and save often months of struggle!
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