After a split up, you may be tempted to try and use text messages to text your ex back into your life, but it’s hardly ever as simple as it sounds. You take your cell phone out, but then something happens. Your mind starts to wander and you worry about all the terrible things that might happen if you send the wrong text message.
You start wondering about questions like:
1. What develops if I send the wrong text? Will my ex say goodbye for good?
2. What type of tone should my text message have? Should it be apologetic?
3. What type of message should I transmit? A simple hello? Something amusing? Something sweet? Something weird and different?
4. If they don’t reply to my text message, should I just throw in the towel or send them another text?
5. Have I given the split up enough time? Should I wait even longer? What if I’m just depressed and giving in too easily?
6. I don’t want to appear desperate or needy. How can I send a text message that won’t make me come across like that?
And lots more…
You start to feel distressed and miserable. You start to feel like you’ll never recognize what to say to get your ex to take you back. You feel all alone and paralyzed.
What you experience are the same emotions many people experience after a breakup. It’s common. It’s okay. Today I’m going to discuss some recommendations with you about sending those all important first texts to help you reconnect with your ex.
If you want to text your ex back, then it’s crucial to have a clear understanding of what you want to attain. Your very first texts will be highly important.
The right text message can make a large difference in how your ex views your relationship. The wrong text can lead to even greater frustration and despair.
Here are 5 tips to remember prior to sending that all important first message to your ex:
1. Don’t text your ex too rapidly.
Texting your ex too quickly is a big no-no. You both need time (approximately 3 to 4 weeks) to get control of your emotions. Try to use this time to discover exactly what you want from your relationship with your signficant other. Do you definitely want them back in your life? Are you able to forgive yourself and forgive them for any errors that have happened? It’s vital to have distinct goals in view.
2. Now is not the time to focus on the previous relationship.
Your first text messages need to have a confident tone. The truth is, your previous relationship is dead. You need to try and open your ex to the idea of being in a new, more amazing relationship with you.
3. Don’t become needy and start begging your ex to start another relationship with you.
The previous relationship is over and never coming back. You want to open them to the possibility of being in a new, better relationship with you.
4. Don’t quit if your ex doesn’t send a message back.
If you don’t get a response to your first few texts, it’s not a big deal so don’t become anxious about it. If you get a response, awesome. If you don’t, there’s no need to stress. Your first few texts shouldn’t call for any reply from your ex.
5. Send texts with an objective.
Think about every single text you send before you send it. According to Michael Fiore, the author of Text Your Ex Back, you need to avoid sending “nothing texts”.
Recognizing What Michael Fiore Refers To As Nothing Texts
As Michael puts it, a nothing text is” … a text that doesn’t actually SAY anything and doesn’t leave any “hooks” for positive interaction.” These are texts such as “Hey” or “How’s it going?” (chances are you have already sent several of these).
Learning how to text your ex back is something you want to get right from the start because when it comes to breakups, there isn’t always a second chance.